"See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" --- Isaiah 48:10
To say that I'm in the furnace of affliction feels like such an understatement. I am burning up... I like hot climates, but whoa! I have had a tough few days - been super dizzy - this week. I told Jonathan yesterday maybe that nerve is just dying (it's called "burnout) and it's coming to an end... I'm still praying daily for my miracle! God is showing me that even in the fire he provides relief - quenching the burning with water. I want to share some "water" stories from this week:
Wednesday's fire - Beau had been sick for two days and home from school - running fever up to 103.7 at times. Needless to say the Gregory home was tired and stressed. I was super dizzy and the minute I picked up Lydia from school I got in the bed - about 3:30. My poor 5-year-olds once again had to fend for themselves for the afternoon (Disney Jr. on tv or Just Dance Kids 2 on the computer).
Wednesday's Water - My friend and neighbor, Kelly, dropped by at 5 PM with grilled chicken, grilled corn on the cob, seasoned green beans, dinner rolls and cotton candy Maggi-O's from Maggie Moos! The perfect gift at the perfect time. (Not to mention this same sweet friend took the twins for hours last Sunday afternoon to the OCS Artfest - picture below).
Thursday's fire - It was day 2 of my vestibular rehab therapy (VRT) and when I got there I was too dizzy to even do any exercises. My therapist, Summer, did some things to try and relax me enough to do some work but to no avail.
Thursday's Water - My sweet therapist, Summer, who I just met but am so fond of, was so sensitive to my sadness over not being able to do any work (I cried a BUNCH), she held my hands and prayed with me before I left. Sincerely prayed for me and with me - I was moved beyond words and it was better therapy for my soul than I needed physically.
Friday's fire - I was still super dizzy and my kids had the day off school. Another day that I couldn't do anything fun with them.
Friday's Water - My sweet mother spent the entire day at my house. She rallied the kids and they threw me a "Feel Better" day... complete with flowers, balloons, cupcakes, goodie bags and a home-cooked meal. So the kids had fun in the kitchen all day and my spirits were lifted by my mom's thoughtfulness.
Saturday's fire - I woke up at 3 AM with the bed spinning beneath me. This doesn't happen unless I don't take my meds and I had surely taken my meds before I went to sleep, so I was bothered by this. When this happens it's like every time you start to doze you spin out of control or have one of those dreams where you're falling and it startles you awake. I can't really describe what it's like, but that's some idea. I got up to eat something and took even more meds (which I hate but have to have). I finally got some relief about 5 AM and dozed back off. When the family woke up they were all abuzz b/c it was Beau's very first T-Ball game at 9 AM. As I tried to choke down my breakfast, I went to the back sobbing to Jonathan. The lump in my throat was tremendous. How could I miss this rite of passage? It's NOT FAIR God!!!!!
Saturday's Water - Jonathan held me tight and consoled me. He encouraged me very sweetly and gently to try and go. He promised he'd sit by me, carry my chair and take me out immediately if I needed to. I reluctantly agreed... it was tough sitting through the game like a zombie, but I got to SEE BEAU PLAY HIS FIRST GAME. I would have never gotten that moment back and am so thankful for Jonathan's support.
So, even though God has sent this all-consuming fire to refine me in the furnace of affliction, He also sends relief - in small ways every day... a sip of water when it gets really, really hot. It's how I know He still loves me and He's still in control. I'm excited for my water today and am expectantly waiting for it...
I did get a good laugh this morning. I went walking before I listened to Brother Bill on the radio. I walked out of necessity not b/c I wanted to. As I stumbled along the streets in my dizzy state, I laughed to myself as I thought about the neighbors thinking, "there goes the neighborhood drunk trying to walk off her Saturday night"!!! If only they knew...
Keep praying Saints... I'm one day closer to my miracle! Specific prayer this week: Not too dizzy for therapy on Tuesday and Thursday morning.